For people who don’t like to write, this is going to sound a little weird. You see friends, writing is my love language. I know that writing is not one of the original five love languages as penned in Gary Chapman’s bestseller, however, it is definitely mine.
I try not to say anything off the top of my head. My words are often crafted strategically to ensure that they evoke the proper emotion from the reader. If I’m asked to pray in front of a large group or give remarks at an event, I’ve probably written the words before and rehearsed them in such a way that anyone who hears me thinks I’m speaking off the cuff.
Even the prayers and the poems, Toni?
Especially the prayers and the poems.
In my 45 years of living on this earth, there is one subject that is absolutely taboo in a discussion with my parents…and it’s probably not what you think. We can talk about sex (even though I’d really prefer not to), we can talk about my dating life, we can even talk about my kids’ dating lives, but the one thing we will not address is social media.
Social media has been a strain on our relationship. They can’t seem to understand why I love it. And they definitely, without a doubt, have huge disdain at the fact that some of their peers on active on social media.
In the words of my father, “Twitter is the devil.” Continue reading
When I hear the word comfort, I think of two things. 1. Mashed potatoes (as in comfort food favorites that we usually find at the Thansgiving dinner table), and 2. Death. Mashed potato goodness is obvious, but let’s talk about death. When someone in my family has been terminally ill, I’ve always heard the phrase “let’s provide comfort during this transition to heaven.” And then when the person does pass away, I’ve heard, “let’s provide comfort to the family an close friends of the deceased.” I know there are many other uses for the word comfort, and my mind probably does eventually cross those other meanings, but in the beginning it’s about mashed potatoes and death.
Keep in mind, I do realize that there are many comfort foods served at Thanksgiving, but mashed potates happen to be my favorite. If reading this becomes more palatable by sustituting mashed potatoes with sweet potatoes or deviled eggs or corn casserole, feel free to substitute.
In a weird way this week, my definition changed. It took my car stopping in the middle of heavy traffic on a busy highway in Dallas for me to realize that. Continue reading
I had to come to a very scary realization this week. And once I came to it, I had to admit it. To a real person. Because if I didn’t admit it, if I didn’t tell someone, I would push those fears down as long as I could until they bubbled up inside of me and eventually took over my words, my actions, my spirit, and my heart.
So in order to avoid a very ugly emotional breakdown, I decided to deal with the few moments of fear and discuss it my prayer partner. And now, I’m telling you.
Even when God gives me clear direction on an issue, even when I know what He wants me to do, I still wonder if it’s worth it. My exact words in my confession to my prayer partner were, “I know it’s worth it in the end, and I know I’m going to this, but I’m not necessarily ready to do it, to talk about it with others, or to smile about it.
I do recognize the irony of choosing to write about it…but we’re not hear to talk about that today. Continue reading